Wednesday, November 16, 2005


So I have been on my deathbed ... ummm ... bedrest from Monday on. On Monday and half of Tuesday I had my dad helping out. Before he got fired DH was supposed to be on vacation and therefore caring for me until Saturday when Teacher of the Year arrived. Obviously instead he has been running around like a chicken with its head cut off looking for another job. I was devastated because in my mind I saw myself wrecking any chance of the shot working by running after BabyV and picking him up. That almost happened. On Thursday DH ignored all my requests unless I screamed at him, even made me cry once, it looked hopeless. I found out why about 4 hours after my dad left. At 7pm DH turned to me and asked, 'Where is your dad?' he ignored me because he thought my father was still helping out and I was just being a demanding Diva. True that is no excuse but made me feel better. BTW my dad said goodbye to him but DH just ignored him, he was busy writing a resume for a headhunter.
The biggest test would be the 2am wakeup to give Baby V water and the 5am wakeup to feed him 6oz of formula was still ahead of us. The night time wakeups have always been the most painful for me before and after the shot because at night the muscles relaxed and when I shot out of bed and ran to my kid and picked him up I was ready to collapse from all the pain. So I went to sleep with plenty of dread.
At 2 am Baby V whimpered and then cried for some water. I shook DH (he sleeps like a log) and told him to go to Baby, he rolled over and snored a response. I hit him and shook him again, he tossed the covers and went in. I did not bother getting up.
At 5:45am hungry cried drifting into my subconscious. I was thankful that Baby V gave dad 3 hours of sleep instead of 2 so I shook DH. Nothing. Shook him again. Rolled over. Shook him, hit him, told him to go feed child. Finally he got up told me that I keep waking him up. Stumbled into Baby V's room, stumbled out, got the bottle, started fumbling with the diaper. I needed to dope myself up on more pills so I got up, did the diaper, and while he was feeding Baby V took my wagon of pills. When DH came to bed I started to say something, probably about Baby V being wet, DH cut me off with a, 'Leave me alone', and buried into the covers. I snuggled up to him and said, 'Now I get to pester you for Sex' and promptly passed out. Fairly sure there was no sex ;)
In the morning, after 6 hours of sleep total, DH had the pleasure of waking up and feeding breakfast to Baby V while I was still passed out from the pills. He then transferred my body to the bed in Baby V's room and started his job search again. So far he has been very good at feeding, putting to sleep, changing, snuggling Baby V. I am so relieved.
He has a few more restless nights before Teacher of the Year comes over. By then end I hope he will apretiate what I do everyday and maybe realizes that it is hard work and he has it easy.

I also saw my Dr. Back to discuss the massive amounts of pain and give me more drugs. We decided that the reason this recovery has been more painful then usual is drugs. After my first injection I was taking something 100% stronger that my body was not yet used to so the pain was less. This time I just started a small dose of a new drug and I wasn't sure if I could even take it after the shot and therefore got to experience everything with a clear head, clearly not advisable.

For some good news. We can't get out of buying my dream home! So even though we have no income we still get a nice new house but not the furniture. I am a bit worried about the income thing but I believe that I have a brilliant husband that will get us out of this.


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