I win!

Recently there was a 'contest' type for worst mother on some of the blogs I read, well today I won it hands down. You see I was having lunch at our table and Baby V was holding on to the edge mocking. I, like any 'good mother', was giving him pieces of my organic baked potato. Now as I was doing this my foot was keeping the chair, that Baby V was hovering near, anchored. Well my foot was getting cold, it being October and all that, so I took it off the chair to slip into my warm slippers and boom! Baby V grabbed the chair, it tipped back, and both went flying at ungodly speed towards the floor. Needless to say, I did not manage to catch (any of this on video) the chair or the child. As I threw the chair off the screaming 10 month old visions of blood and brain raced through my head. I imagined Baby V living with red marks in the design of a chair back on his face, but no. There was no blood but the yelling led me to suspect that something worse happened. It was a small bump on the back of the poor babies head! Oh the humanity! This was the first time Baby V let me cuddle him in our bed with an icepack on his head for 5 minutes. The gut wrenching crying subsided into heart tearing whimpering and my baby stared at me with accusation in his grey/blue eyes. Then I frantically called Mrs SC, Miss EL (he loves her and I thought that hearing the sound of her voice would calm him) and my dad, only Mrs. SC answered. Baby V switched his whimpering to angry yelling when I failed to let him push all the buttons while I talked and he listened on speakerphone. Apparently an icepack is the only solution, and so we rocked and sang (maybe I should have refrained from singing, it might have made it worse) with a blue icepack wrapped in cloth. Now we are sleeping and for the first time in 2 or 3 months we have the movement sensor on to check up on the breathing thing.
I do not think I have to tell you that none of this get back to DH, he would ban me from motherhood and send me off to a 9-5 job. Oh please do not tell him, I will probably have to myself, considering there is really no other way to explain the bump. I will be praying today, pray with me people.
Love,
Me ( the worlds worst mother)