Saturday, October 08, 2005


Well I have been feeling very sluggish of late. Had very little desire to be online so I spent more time with Baby V and went on AIM to chat with friends. Chatting now happens primarily online because I have to save up my minutes for emergencies; like in case I have another baby or another relative dies. You see the last time my cell phone bill went up was when I had a baby and we moved all in the space of one month. I got yelled at a lot that time, and I wasn’t getting enough sleep and had a little kid attached to me 24/7. This time I ran up my bill talking to Russia, maybe I knew something was coming, and of course the fight with DH was also enormous. I am dreading this coming bill because I know I will be thrown to the dogs and out of a will.
Anyway, I am feeling better now, no more crying at night and only sad whimpering when I talk to my dad and we mention gramps. His funeral was on what was supposed to be his birthday (76), and this makes me very sad but I am glad my mom got to say goodbye to her dad. I am thinking of how sad it is that he never got a chance to see the only boy in the family, but maybe he said goodbye after he died. I am convinced that Baby V slept well the night grandpa died because grandpa was right there with him, giving back the pacifier every time he lost it. See I only cry when I think about it.
It just is not fair that he died. He promised me he wouldn’t but he did. He was such a great man that it is just unfair for him to get cancer. Now the question is can I say that he died form cancer? He had a heart attack but it was because it could not cope from all the stress caused by the cancer (according to docs). Before the operations started his heart was healthy and proclaimed strong enough to get through, but it didn’t. He knew that he was dying too, he told my grandma goodbye. Okay enough of that, it is getting repetitive I have other news.
Baby V has a third tooth. The top one cut through a couple of days ago. So now he has teeth above and below and the grinding has began. Until I saw that pearly white tooth I could not figure out where the grinding sound was coming from. It was/is so bad it woke me up at night. He does it less now because it is no longer new but on occasion I will be startled by just how hideous the sound is coming from such an angel face.
And on the 6th Baby V stood unsupported for 5 or 6 seconds. He was trying to get a book on the bed and I gave him another one, he took it and stood looking at it. No wobbling or anything, I don’t think he realized that there was nothing supporting him. Now if he would just start walking. Everyone tells me that I should savor this crawling and cruising but honestly, no. He is in an awkward transitional phase where he sees himself walking but can’t and it leads to a lot of whining, so please let him walk soon. Mrs. SC’s little girl walked at 9.5 so we are already behind J although we are heavier then she is.
Some misguided lady at the supermarket tried to convince me that Baby V needed a diet, the NERVE! He is a perfect little 28 pounds. If he was any smaller I fear I would loose him in all the stuff piled in our house.
Oh and last Saturday I had a blast in NY with Miss EL and Mrs. AM. We originally wanted to walk in central park but I realized too late that my favorite shoes now give me blisters, Miss EL also had blisters, and Mrs. AM wore high heels. So we walked a tiny bit limping, then sat for a few hours talking on a bench. I cried only once when I saw a very young baby and realized how fast they grow up. This little outburst prompted Mrs. SC to send me a quiz about postpartum depression. Honestly though I am glad she cares, oh and so does Miss EL but she thinks I ought to spend some time on me and not the boys and any trace of depression will go away. Good idea, come over and baby-sit Miss and I’ll go and get my nails done and acupuncture.
DH is actively looking for a house. He already made one offer but it was basically shot down. Too bad, I was sort of picturing myself in that house, you know with the dishwasher and new stove. As a matter of fact I am still picturing but I have to stop that right now. I need to stop because my picturing tends to lead to my buying, like if I picture a new bra in hot pink (to complete my laundry outfit) I have to go and buy it. So we are stuck with neighbors for a while yet, even if they are nice neighbors who make great cookies. We do suspect that the lady downstairs is stealing our mail, but that is another story that has no concrete proof.


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