Changing Table

Found on Changing Table this morning:
Spice Bottle of Curry Flakes
Dead cell phone
Screaming child
No diapers

You do realize that I think up of hundreds of clever posts in my head before falling asleep and then forget them by the time I get my hands on the keyboard, right?

So I am sleeping and dreaming of a woman screaming, screaming, screaming. I slowly wake up but the screaming continues. I lie there denying the screaming because my child does not scream, he whimpers and we're all right there. Finally my brain processes the noise and I shoot out of bed (regret it instantly as I double over from pain) and rush towards my poor horse baby. I stop by the kitchen to get the bottle of water because nothing calms child like knowing that he will not be getting formula at 2am. Not finding the bottle I figure DH took it in already. Take crying screaming baby and try to soothe while searching for the bottle, no such luck. The baby continues crying and the bottle remains hidden. The screaming continues. The search takes us all over the apartment, because DH could have left the bottle in the bathroom or something. The screaming continues. By this time I am a 100% sure that DH has put into his ears one of those thingies that blocks out sound because OH MY GOD THE SCREAMING!
So fully awake and needing to go to the bathroom I put Baby V in his crib (still screaming) and search for a pacifier to replace the one he threw across the room in his rage. And there, in the corner is the full bottle of water. Say it with me people, WHAT THE F%*#$! Quickly I scoop up child, plug him up with bottle, he shuts up, put him in crib, he falls asleep, I go to bathroom. Please explain to me the logic of putting a bottle in the crib when never before have we EVER put a bottle in the crib. Furthermore isn't this the sort of thing you wake up your wife and tell her?

Will post more after I am bedridden after third shot of steroids.
Love,
Me