Wednesday, July 05, 2006

post-O P E R A T I O N

So a responsible blogger would let everyone know that she was back from back surgery alive and going to the bathroom without any help. I am not that responsible. I have been avoiding the Internet so that I don't have to confess to eating ice cream 3 or 5 times a day (it is for the soar throat that went away the day after surgery) and reading an embarrassing amount of books that I no longer remember. This avoidance was strengthened by the 'NO-sitting' rule imposed on me by my captors. They are also not letting V touch me in fear that he will fall and knock my disks out of place again.
The operation was a success. First a vein was located, two times they missed, and then a nice cocktail of narcotics was shot up my arm. Next thing I know I am freezing and not moving.
After that nice recovery room, where they gave a whole lot of morphine to sedate me, I was moved to my own room that I shared with a nice Old Italian grandmother that couldn’t hear a thing. I had visitors, Teacher of the Year never left my side, Mrs. AM visited with her husband and mother, and of course DH came by to sit with me before my dad showed up. I got fake flowers, real flowers, sushi, and candy. The sushi was bought and eaten by my mom, and I used the candy to bribe the nurses into giving me more morphine. By the end of Thursday I got to flash my neighbor and most of the nursing staff on duty while going to a bathroom with a walker and an IV pole. I came out green and absolutely sure that I would never stand up again. The trip to the bathroom was repeated every 4 hours but was done with a lot more modesty and grace.
The next day I was released just before they served a regular lunch, I missed out of pot roast with mashed potatoes and warm apple pie, but I did not miss out on a service of antibiotics up my vein.
Basically the experience was a little like giving birth, except without the hellish pain, ring of fire, and adorable baby to bring home.
The Dr. said he was very hopeful that I would be back to normal and popping out children by the end of the year. My leg is a little numb but that is supposed to be normal, I go back next week for a follow up.


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