Monday, May 21, 2007

So this whole excited thing ...

I'm not excited! Everyone asks, "Aren't you excited to be pregnant?" No I am not. It still doesn't feel real to me. It feels like I am going to wake up and it will all be a dream and V will be pulling on the covers saying, "Wake up Mama!"
I don't even know the right word to describe how detached I am with this pregnancy. When Baby V was just a little seahorse at 1 month gestation I felt more connected to him then I do right now with his boxing, wave doing, brother/sister. And man do I feel GUILTY.
Maybe it is that lack of symptoms, or the lack of attention from family members this time around. It just doesn't feel like I am pregnant.
I know it could be worse, I could be facing multiple losses and all the rest but I can't help myself. I want this baby badly but I am not excited over the pregnancy, does that even make sense.
Send me a bruger to make me feel better, or a whole chicken battered and fried.